The Hat and the Heart
by ArtjuiceRP
Summary: Sequel to 'The Swan-Feather Cloak' When Princess Emma makes another deal with Rumplestiltskin, Killian Jones vows to assist her, even if it means pulling an old friend out of retirement so he can accompany her to a new realm. If only she would tell him exactly what the deal involves.


**So it's finally here! The sequel to'The Swan-Feather Cloak'. If you haven't read that, I suggest you do. This won't make much sense without it. I hope you all enjoy it so far - there's quite a bit planned for this so I have no idea what length this could end up being.**

**Thanks to BlackDragon733 for beta-ing!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own OUAT or the related characters.**

**If you enjoy this, it would be great if you left a review!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

When he was unconscious, Killian saw Emma. Every moment they'd spent together played through his mind, beginning with the moment he saw her on the docks, face hidden from view by her large cloak, so determined to board his ship. It almost felt as if he were experiencing each instant again. The memory of seeing her in Bismagar made him feel as awestruck as he had the first time, her beauty utterly overwhelming him. Each thought captivated him further, amazed that such a woman would deign to want him.

He knew that falling into an actual courtship, something he desperately wanted, would not be as easy as the simple affection they bestowed upon one another. Emma was scared of intimacy. She was scared of letting someone understand her. She was so worried about people leaving her that she refused to let them in.

Killian understood every single fear. Knowing such things simply made it even easier to love her. Despite all her fears, she had let him in and by doing so, she had brought light back into his world.

She had done so as soon as she had said that she was lucky to find him.

* * *

He awoke to an aching skull and an overpowering sense of peace, his eyes remaining closed for a few minutes as he enjoyed the feel of Emma's hand running through his hair. The only thing invading his bliss, other than the pain in his head, was a nagging thought, one he dared to indulge for only a few seconds. If Emma had her son back with her, surely she wouldn't be so intent on him.

His eyes opened slowly, Killian uncertain about what he would see. Emma was hovering over him, her gaze locked on him, stormy green eyes rimmed with red and tear stains painted down her cheeks. She was still beautiful and he had to take a moment to absorb everything. They were both alive, but Henry was nowhere to be seen and neither was the crocodile. They had both hoped for a better outcome, but Killian knew that whatever had happened was bound to be far more difficult for Emma.

Despite it being surprisingly difficult, Killian raised his good arm so that he could tenderly cup her face and brush her cheeks with his thumb, a gentle attempt to wipe away the tears. It was only when he touched her that she noticed he was awake, and Killian watched in wonder as her entire countenance softened and she leant down to bury her face in his shoulder. He brought his hooked arm around her waist, pulling her completely against him and anchoring her to him when he buried his hand in her hair. The embrace seemed to open up the barrier Emma was using to hold back tears, shaking in his arms as she sobbed.

"Emma?" he muttered, desperate to comfort her with his quiet words. "Please tell me what happened. Where's Henry?"

At the question, she shook her head, so he simply held her tighter and waited for her to be ready to tell him. Killian wanted to do something to stop her hurting, but as he was unaware of what had happened since he had lost his grip on the Dark One's dagger, he had no idea what she needed.

Emma didn't cry for long, her sobs fading into hushed sniffs. Killian shifted, using his hand to tilt her head so he could meet her gaze, once again brushing the tears from her face, lifting himself from the floor to press a soft kiss to each cheek. "What happened, love?"

"He still has Henry." she murmured, Killian having to strain to hear her words. "After everything, even though Henry was right in front of us, even though he remembered me, Rumplestiltskin took him away again."

"We will just have to go and get him back then, darling." he soothed, pushing some of her hair back from her face. "If we take Henry back and leave Rumplestiltskin alive, there will be nothing to concern us. In fact, I believe that Rumplestiltskin himself would find it prudent to break such a curse. Once Henry is by our side, he has little to worry about regarding Rumplestiltskin's death. However, by tethering Henry's life to his, Rumplestiltskin has made himself mortal once more. And I assure you, Rumplestiltskin will not want that."

"We can't go and get him back, Hook." Emma sighed, although, to his relief, she did seem comforted by his words. "We are not going to be able to take Henry back with the Dark One still alive. And we're not going to kill Rumplestiltskin when doing something like that will kill my son." She pulled away from him, Killian grasping at the air between them for a moment before dropping his hand back to the ground, surprised by her distance but aware that now was not the time to be concerned with such things. "I made a deal. I do something for Rumplestiltskin and then I get Henry back."

Killian felt cold, remembering the promise Rumplestiltskin had made centuries ago. He and Milah's lives for a magic bean. As valued as Rumplestiltskin's deals were, Killian knew from experience that not all deals were kept. "A deal?" he repeated, his voice harsh as he dwelled on the thought, and he regretted the question as soon as Emma flinched away from him. "Do you trust him to keep it?"

"I have to." she told him, her voice wavering slightly. Killian wished he hadn't questioned her actions, knowing she would feel better if he had trusted her without any second thought. "Don't I?" She swallowed, standing up and brushing dust off her cloak. "I'll understand if you don't want to help me. I can imagine that deals with Rumplestiltskin aren't things you want to get involved in."

"I never said that I wouldn't help." Killian insisted immediately, wanting to remove any doubts she may have about his willingness to remain by her side. With a groan, he finally stood up, moving instinctively to be next to her. "Of course, I'd appreciate knowing what I'm signing up for." Killian waited for a few moments, watching as Emma's gaze hardened, a shadow in her eyes betraying a secret she wasn't ready to share. Killian glanced down, rubbing his thumb against his nose as he sighed. After everything, he had assumed Emma wouldn't keep the specifics of the deal to herself. However, she seemed determined not to tell him, watching him warily as if her sudden secrecy would lead him to keep his distance. "It's not a requirement though."

She smiled weakly, the first smile since he had awoken to find her stare locked on him, as Killian stretched. He wanted the aches to go away so that he would be able to help as soon as Emma was ready to commence with whatever the mysterious contract involved.

Killian desperately wanted to know what deal Emma had made.

To distract himself from any questions, Killian straightened his coat and wandered over to the far side of them, bending down to pick up the silver music box. Henry had dropped it when his memories had returned, and when Killian turned the small key to wind it up, the lullaby was stilted and broken. "It may not sound as beautiful anymore, but it is by no means less precious." he stated, turning to hold the ornate box out to Emma. "I assume that we'll be taking this with us."

Killian watched as she gazed at the music box in his outstretched hand. Whatever deal Rumplestiltskin had made with her, she had become far more uneasy in his presence than she had ever been before. After a moments thought, she looked back at him and shook her head. "It's broken. Who needs anything that's broken?"

Head tilted, Killian gazed at her. He had sensed a more meaningful layer present in her comment, her sudden self-doubt surprising him and making him want to reach out and assure her that there was no way she wasn't needed. Before he could attempt such an action, she turned her back and stepped away, walking slowly towards the double doors leading out the castle. He hurried to catch up, the music box still in his hand, taking his place at her side and hoping she would be less eager to move away from him this time.

"Can you at least tell me where we're going?" Killian asked, catching her shoulder gently with his hook in an attempt to stop her. "I know this land better than you. I can help."

"Knowing this land isn't going to help." she snapped, glancing down when Killian smiled softly at her. "This land isn't the right one. This _realm_ isn't the right one. We need to go to Oz. Have you even heard of such a place?"

He shrugged, the name unfamiliar to him. "Unfortunately not. I suppose our realm travelling adventures will simply have to begin with just the two of us." He raised an eyebrow, an almost mischievous grin spreading across his face. "We'd better make it good. When Henry is back at your side, he'll want to hear every single detail, will he not?"

She raised her eyes back to his, apparently overwhelmed with his certainty in her and his grin widened. "You seem remarkably unconcerned about how we're going to make it to Oz. You've told me before that crossing realms is difficult."

"And I've also told you that I happen to know just the person." he told her with a shrug, stepping past her to hold open the doors. "Luckily for us, he lives nearby. Apparently, realm jumpers receive better business when they live in a location saturated with sorcerers."

Emma stepped through the doors, Killian following her out of the castle, focussed on trying to figure out why Rumplestiltskin would be sending them to another realm and what he could possibly want. The only thing that was clear to him was that Rumplestiltskin had taken Henry and left, the entire dark castle eerily quiet when he and Emma weren't talking.

As Emma stopped at the castle walls and the gates opened onto Sherwood Forest, she turned to face him with a panicked glint in her eye. "Your friend, this realm jumper? He can get us back, right? It won't be a one-way trip, will it? We need to be able to come home."

"We'll get back." Killian promised, his confirmation seemingly persuading Emma to finally step away from the Dark One's castle, Killian only a step behind her. "This method of transportation isn't exactly meant for one-way journeys."

* * *

Killian led the way through the forest, this time travelling east along the cliffs that marked the edge of Sherwood and the beginning of the vast ocean, a neverending ribbon of turquoise. Emma was staying quiet, walking a few steps behind him instead of standing by his side, making Killian glad that at least he had the view of the sea to keep him from wondering why Emma was reluctant to stand by him.

Even the sea could not distract him for long. Each step brought another memory of everything that had just passed, the pirate unable to stop dwelling on the fight with Rumplestiltskin, knowing that whatever Emma had felt during the moments before they entered the Dark Castle was no longer certain. He knew she had been happy, with their reunion and the belief that her son would be with her again, but now such optimism had been taken from her and her son even further even more cruelly removed from her side.

He paused, turning back to face her, noticing that she was oblivious to his scrutiny of her, slowly trudging up to him. She faced the floor, golden hair bedraggled and a slight redness to her face, the only remaining evidence that she had been crying. She was still as beautiful as ever, but he wished the sadness exposed in her entire countenance wasn't there. Killian wished there were no reasons for her to be unhappy.

Emma was paying such little attention to her surroundings that she stumbled into him, Killian reaching out to steady her when she wobbled slightly. "We need to rest, Emma. I understand you want to get to Oz as soon as you can, but after everything that's happened today, you do not want to be exhausted."

Her lack of response made him look back out to sea and he stepped away from her, toes touching the edge of the cliff. Emma didn't follow, staying stock still as he moved away from her. He didn't look at her, able to see her white cloak fluttering in the breeze just out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't see her face, but Killian thought he knew what she was thinking.

She didn't want to stop. Emma wanted to get her son back. On the other hand, he was certain that she was desperate for a rest.

He didn't like this uncertainty. He wanted to know what he could do to make her feel better, except he hadn't been prepared for this. After their weeks aboard the Jolly Roger, and his recent encounter with the witch, he had expected to escape Rumplestiltskin, Henry alongside them, and then they would embark on a different adventure. An adventure without a risk of death.

He started slightly when he felt her hand take his, turning to see that she had stepped to his side. She wasn't looking at him, hood raised as if she wanted to hide the evidence of her tears. He smiled at her, the smile almost apologetic at first, softening when she leant into his side. He could feel the length of her body pressed against him and he hoped that his presence was giving her some sort of comfort, her hand tightening around his as she lifted her face to return a weak smile. "Maybe a rest would be a good idea." she murmured, sounding reluctant to admit just how tired she was.

Carefully, Killian moved back from the cliff, leading Emma towards what looked like the most comfortable tree and trying not to think too much about how she was insisting on being so close to him. He sat between the roots, tugging her down to rest between his legs, her head leaning back to lie against his chest. Killian nudged the hood away from her face, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. She sighed, cuddling further into him as his hooked arm curled around her waist.

"Killian?" she whispered, and he had to move his head closer, his chin brushing the top of her head, to hear her. "This deal? It's not that I don't trust you."

"I didn't think it was, sweetheart." he murmured, the confirmation coming as a relief even though he hadn't thought he needed it. "If you want to tell me, I'll be here."

"I _do _want to tell you." Her voice was even quieter, almost as if she didn't want anyone to hear. "It's just that this deal, this thing I have to do, it's not something I would have ever done. And now, I have to do it. I was looking forward to travelling realms and now…"

She trailed off, and Killian kissed the side of her head again, his hand reaching up to comb gently through her hair. "It's still an adventure. Maybe we're not looking for something we actually want, but it doesn't mean we can't enjoy this. We're still together, after all."

"I wanted our trip to be something that we chose to do." she admitted, turning her head so her voice was muffled in his chest. "With Henry. As a family."

For a brief moment, he couldn't breathe. Her admittance was something he had never dared to hope he would hear, even though he had only recently accepted that it was truly what he wanted. He caught his breath, torn between letting her sleep or slipping his hand from her hair, brushing his fingers along her cheek and lifting her face so he could capture her lips.

Emma yawned, and the decision was easy.

* * *

Although Emma was silent for the entirety of their walk the following day, her hand remained tightly tangled with Killian's as he led her further along the coast. She seemed slightly more content, Killian having told her that they would reach the realm-traveller by sunset. As comfortable as the silence was, her words from last night echoed in his mind and soothed his occasional worries about their upcoming ordeal.

However, he couldn't repress the nagging fear that despite their mutual trust, Emma wouldn't tell him. Killian knew that their initial conversations, about her old fiancé, had been forced upon Emma. Only after he had lowered his own walls had she fully let him in. He had no walls left, and Rumpelstiltskin's deal had built hers back up, perhaps lower than before, but just as present.

Killian inhaled deeply before coming to a halt. Their destination was only steps away, a thin stream of smoke visible in the distance. Before their realm travelling commenced, he needed her to know that this deal wouldn't come between them. As much as she trusted him, he knew that Baelfire's abandonment of her had made her fear such trust, and if the deal was truly as bad as it appeared to be, she had to be aware that nothing would ever make him leave her side.

He turned to her, raising her hand to his lips for a warm kiss before speaking. "I know you don't want to tell me." he started, seeing her tense when she realised where the conversation was heading. "I know it's bound to be difficult, especially given that we both believed Henry would be with us by now. But, even unsaid, this deal is hurting you and I want to know what I can do to help." He raised his hand to brush her cheek slightly, a knowing smile spreading across face when she leaned into his touch. "I can't stand seeing you like this, Emma."

"If I say it out loud, then it's real." she whispered, so low Killian could have missed it and that was when it struck him that she wasn't keeping quiet because she didn't want to tell him. She wanted to deny it to herself. Emma wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong, as if they weren't traversing realms at the Dark One's bequest. If that was what she wished, then Killian would happily comply.

"You'll have to face up to that one day, my love." he told her, seeing her relax when he neglected to press her for further details. "But I need to tell you one small thing. You will not have to deal with this alone. No matter what you have to do, I will be by your side." He laughed quietly, Emma appearing utterly taken aback by his vow. Before she could snatch her hand back, he raised Emma's hand to his chest, holding it against his heart with his good hand, and watching in adoration as her eyes widened and her breathing grew shallow. "Don't you know, Emma, that from the first moment I saw you, I have wanted to always be at your side?"

Instead of backing away as Killian had expected, she shifted closer, her hand remaining against his heart even after his own hand dropped away, their toes touching and chests brushing with every breath. "Why didn't you kill Rumplestiltskin, Killian?"

He hadn't expected this question, not so soon after everything, but he couldn't stay silent. He needed her to know the truth. He didn't want her to try and reason out his decision, because he knew she would never accept that he had given up his revenge for her. She had spent so long trying to convince him otherwise, the two of them unaware that he had abandoned his quest for vengeance the instant he met her, that he was certain she wasn't ready to trust the idea that he had chosen her.

"Do you truly believe I would allow your son to die in order to kill the Dark One?" he asked first, the idea of doing such a thing horrifying him.

"No. But I thought you would try to find another way. That you would try again."

"I'm through trying."

"You told me, on your ship, that you would regret not trying far more than you would regret failing." Emma stated, seemingly still too uncertain to realise what he meant. Killian bit his lip, remembering what Emma had told him after Jukes had spoken about Liam and convinced her to return to the ship.

"Emma, I've tried for three hundred years." Killian sighed, the dark memories of Neverland something he preferred to ignore. "When we spoke of regret, I was still trying to deny the truth. And that truth is that I would always regret hurting you, leaving you, far more than I would regret not trying. The moment I let you on my ship was the moment you became far more important to me than any vengeance and you must believe that I am sincerely sorry that my own denial made you believe, for even a second, that I would ever abandon you." He paused, meeting Emma's gaze for the first time since her question. She was frozen in place, a tear escaping the moment he was caught in her stare, and he reached up to brush it aside, her breath stuttering at the contact. "You have to know that I would never choose Rumplestiltskin's death, my death, over a lifetime with you. I will stand by your side until you will no longer have me with you."

He swallowed, his own words having made the air hang heavy around himself and Emma, saturated with unspoken phrases, and he couldn't look at her. For a moment he felt as if he was suffocating, unable to breathe and choking on words he wanted to say but knew she wasn't ready to hear, and then he felt her gentle touch on his chin, on his heart, and he lifted his eyes to meet hers.

She had never looked at him that way before and he needed to treasure it. Killian needed to remember every single aspect of her glorious face, except before he could, Emma pushed herself up and pressed her lips against his.

He didn't need a moment to respond, his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her fully against him, hook resting gently against her back, hand tangling itself in her hair. He moved his lips under hers, this first kiss further affirmation that he was completely _hers_, that from the moment she had stepped upon his ship she had been the only one who could have stolen his heart. Killian felt, in that unending moment, that he needed Emma's kisses to breathe. He _knew_ that being with Emma meant the end of his life as he knew it, and as he deepened the kiss, Emma's hand moving away from his heart in order to grasp at his shoulders, he was utterly certain that he would never want to go back to the way it had been before.

Emma had changed _everything_.

He pulled away, breathing deeply as he leant his forehead against hers, the tips of their noses brushing slightly. Killian didn't want to speak. He was content to simply listen to Emma's soft giggles as they held one another close. He beamed down at her, his thumb lightly caressing her jaw, his fingers still twisted in her hair. In response, Emma wrenched him back towards her, their lips meeting once again as Killian stumbled forwards. The kiss only faltered when Emma's back hit the nearest tree, another breathy giggle escaping her lips when Killian embedded his hook in the bark just above her shoulder.

He didn't want to ever stop kissing her.

His lips crashed back to hers, a groan escaping him when she arched up towards him, both of them becoming more desperate. He _needed _to be closer to her. His kiss had to let Emma know just how much he loved her.

Emma seemed uncertain about where to put her hands, fingers trailing through his hair, over his shoulders, until she wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him as close to her as possible. When she gently bit down on his lip, Killian sunk closer to her before wresting his lips from hers so he could start to trail open-mouthed kisses across her jaw and down her neck. Emma sounded so _happy_, short sighs and breathless giggles coming from her each time he kissed her, and when he opened his eyes and glanced up, there was a brightness in her eyes that he had never seen before. A few more kisses and then she exhaled shakily, gripping his hair and pulling him back up to crush their lips together once more.

Hearing someone clapping, Killian froze, still wrapped up in Emma as he tried to figure out what was happening, his mind moving too slowly after everything that had just happened.

"You two seem very friendly."

The familiar voice was all that stopped him from spinning to turn his blade on the fool that had interrupted them. Instead he felt only irritation, preferring to stay as he was. Now he knew that Emma was safe he was reluctant to stop kissing her, but their lips slowly broke apart when Emma nudged him away. She looked nervous, undoubtedly due to the many warnings he had given her about the inhabitants of Sherwood, but the sight of Killian grinning seemed to make her relax.

His hand resting lightly on Emma's waist, he pulled his hook out of the tree and turned to face the interrupter. "Hatter." he stated, the warning growl in his voice contradicted by the smile he couldn't suppress at the sight of the familiar wild hair, bright scarf and faded brown coat. He chuckled when the hatter rolled his eyes.

"It's been a while, Hook."


End file.
